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November 2009 
Where do you find meaning in life?
Posted on Jun 14th, 2009
by 
Laurie
Laurie
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 14, 2009:
If someone came to you looking for meaning in their life, how would you direct them?
I'd give them the bad news first ...
If you're waiting to "find" your life's purpose, you can stop looking now because you are never going to "find" it.
The good news is ...
You do not "find" your purpose - you DETERMINE it. It is a choice that you make; it is a conscious decision. Once determined, you drive your stake into the ground and move forward with firm resolve.
Gandhi said, "You do not have to go out looking for your calling. It will be quite apparent to you once you have ‘gotten yourself out of the way.' The very immediacy of the task, placed where you all but trip over it, will make it indisputably yours and no one else's."
This excerpt was taken from my book, "Drop the Bags and No One Will Get Hurt: A Practical Guide to Abundant Living." Copyright 2009
I'd give them the bad news first ...
If you're waiting to "find" your life's purpose, you can stop looking now because you are never going to "find" it.
The good news is ...
You do not "find" your purpose - you DETERMINE it. It is a choice that you make; it is a conscious decision. Once determined, you drive your stake into the ground and move forward with firm resolve.
Gandhi said, "You do not have to go out looking for your calling. It will be quite apparent to you once you have ‘gotten yourself out of the way.' The very immediacy of the task, placed where you all but trip over it, will make it indisputably yours and no one else's."
This excerpt was taken from my book, "Drop the Bags and No One Will Get Hurt: A Practical Guide to Abundant Living." Copyright 2009
Access: Public
Beautifully said, Laurie. Can't wait for the book! May peace surround you today and always. ;-D
See? I knew, I just knew that this is going to be a great book! Common sense taken with a little practical application will do wonders for your life. Thank you again, Laurie, for cutting to chase. At the end of the day, a big bag full of intense ruminations will butter no biscuits.
Very nice.
It is funny how it seems that holding on to a chosen purpose, with patience, persistence, and determination; while simultaneous holding those magic three words (“I don't know”) and changing mental contexts when one finds oneself making judgements of others (or reality); often leads to some quite miraculous outcomes. All the while ensuring the dishes are done, the floors cleaned, the wood cut, …
Ted – I love that you know and understand the three magic words, “I don’t know!” I recently wrote an article on practice of not-knowing.
Not-Knowing
There is tremendous interaction between knowing and not-knowing. Unfortunately, we live in a world which places great emphasis on knowing; when they both, in fact, have great value. And just as the ability for knowing can be developed, so can the practice of not-knowing be encouraged.
In his book, The Issue at Hand: Essays on Buddhist Mindfulness Practice, author and Soto Zen priest, Gil Fronsdal, says that the Zen practice of not-knowing is sometimes referred to as “beginner’s mind” – seeing with fresh, unbiased eyes; not being blinded to new possibilities or by preconceived ideas or judgments.
One of my friends had this insightful response after reading about the practice of not-knowing. “It seems that knowing is important because it ensures that self-reflection will be an ongoing process. After all, our experience builds over time and our self-reflection should reveal the ever-changing nature of our self.”
How can a person cultivate the practice of not-knowing? A simple way is to add “I don’t know” to every thought. Like the bumper sticker which says, “Question Authority,” the phrase “I don’t know” questions the credibility of everything we think. It allows us to question tightly held ideas.
Buddhism at its heart is not about answering questions, but about resolving the fear which motivates the questions. It calls on us to be free from the need to know. Repeated regularly, “I don’t know” almost becomes a mantra in response to what we think or believe. It can open up a space in the mind which is filled with stillness. In turn, this stillness can calm inner chaos.
It is important to make clear that the practice of not-knowing is not the same thing as being confused or doubtful. The confused person is somewhat lost and removed. With doubt the mind is agitated by hesitation and indecision. These states of mind tend to make thoughts baffled and murky rather than clarified and clear. Doubt and confusion are involuntary. The practice of not-knowing is a choice which is meant to bring greater peace.
Not-knowing does not mean you do not know. It does not require us to forget everything we have known or to suspend all interpretations of a situation. Not-knowing means not being limited by what we know. Rather, holding what we know lightly so that we are ready for it to be different. Maybe things are this way; but maybe, just maybe, they are not…
Listen with your heart,
- Laurie
Hmm… I didn't know that.
Sandi -
I especially like the term “beginner's mind” … Even though my brain is in an almost 52 year old package, it makes me feel like I've got a clean slate :)
I like that comment about not knowing , Laurie. It's a good reminder for me. As to knowing your life purpose..sometimes it is 'found' and helps you to know that what you were determining, but with great trepidation, was right all along!
Meenakshi -
And I always enjoy your perspective. “…that what you were determining, but with great trepidation, was right all along!”
Hi Laurie, Meenakshi et al
I like the way that language allows conceptual flows between interpretive schema that one would normally think would not communicate well.
I spend most of my aware time in a world composed largely of systems, patterns, probability functions; with various analogues to various physical processes. I acknowledge that my world is a model within a model, only connected very thinly to reality (whatever that may be).
Yet I can find great relatedness in Laurie's post on the beginner's mind.
For me the beginners mind is but one of many contexts, and it is a very powerful one. As well as bringing the beginners mind, I also like to bring a range of other contexts, and then “compare notes” between them.
As Meenakshi notes, we love to be “right”. We love to come up with “the answer”, at whatever level. However much intellectual knowledge we come up with to support the notion that we cannot know anything with certainty, and whatever our opinion, we need to “hold it lightly” in the light of reality; it is almost impossible to stop the brain from jumping to a “that's right” at some level.
Most often, the “that's right” works - at least in contexts that we are familiar with, and are well practiced in. Hence the power of the practice of “I don't know” - taking us to a space that is open to any possibility.
When Laurie says “Listen with your heart” - what that translates to in the schema that I use most often is - practice suspending conscious level thought and bring awareness to the intuitions of the unconscious mind - and bring them into the mix as well.
To me it is amazing how much really power practice has evolved through human history, is an absence of understanding of how brain or mind are built, or of systems theory, or any of hudreds of other modern disciplines - how much of old tradition works powerfully for us (yet some of it does not).
Ted -
Your words, “… practice suspending conscious level thought and bring awareness to the intuitions of the unconscious mind - and bring them into the mix as well” are wonderful. I especially like “bring awareness” - that wraps it right up.